Hello and howdy, all 2 of my readers. Life has been a bitch recently. But I guess life is always like that. I got this letter from my mom. Letter is a bit of a stretch, I guess. She sent me this necklace with cardboard on the back, saying "Rose Quartz - Self Love" on the back. It bubbled up this ugly, ugly hurt inside of me that made me angry. I took the charm, put it on a new chain, and burned the cardboard. I don't know why it made me as upset as it did. I just didn't like how it made me feel, and the statement behind it, which felt a lot like "I know I don't care about you, but you really ought to do it yourself, hon!" which ticked me off.
I can feel my family unraveling and dying by the second. Bridges shriveling up, twisting, blackening, and dying. I hate it. Family is supposed to be a thick, beautiful, love-filled, plump fruit. Mine is souring and rotting, flies of hate surrounding it. God, I hate it. It's so disgusting. I come home every day to a dying orchard. My father had a weird freak-out the other day. He started flipping his shit today for no damn reason, and for once in my life, I simply didn't care. I know that I'm cutting off everyone and moving the hell out of this state the instant I get the chance. I just need to escape, and run, run away.
I started ballet classes. I thought that my lack of grace with emotions might be balanced by my physical grace, or something like that. Plus, I'll get calves of steel, and that's always a plus.
School starts on the fourth, so I guess I'll write about my life then. Adios!
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