School has been going well! I've been making a lot of new friends and I've been losing some old ones, but you can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs. I've been playing more video games and just trying to feel happy. Of course, it doesn't really work. I'm more tired than anything. Not sad, just tired. But I do have my moments where I feel good, I guess. I just have to focus on those moments.
I've been getting closer to Fletcher and Sophia. But, my other friend, Mimsy, has been acting weird. Nothing that I'm sure won't fix itself, but it's still hard to see.
I've been studying from my driver's test, and having more alone time. I feel feeling more alone in general. I keep thinking about college, what I'll do with myself once I'm not being told what to do. I'm hopeful that I won't end up a complete failure. At least, that's what I have to tell myself. I feel incredibly alone. Not even in an angsty way, just isolated. Which is odd, because I'm surrounded by people every single day! I can't remember the last day I've had all to myself, but I feel so alone regardless. Maybe it is in an angsty way. Maybe I'm just letting the hormones get to me. I'm not sure. I just have to keep my head up, because one day, I will be very, very sure. That's what I have to keep fighting for. For my future house, off in the mountains of Riverton, WY.
I wake up early every single morning, go to a school that I don't really care about, to classes and people that I don't care about, then I go home to a house that's full of people that don't care about me. A whole lot of not caring. I just have to find things that I care about to fill in the gaps in between. I have my bricks, I just need my mortar.
Life isn't harder than it normally is, despite the active government shutdown. I remember that a while ago, the death of Queen Elizabeth had gotten me back into journaling. I'm sure I'll be okay. I always am okay, I'm just dramatic.
On the brighter side of things, I joined dnd! Hopefully it's fun for me
It's fall now. As in, seriously fall. Like, wear-layers-or-shiver fall. Now I can look forward to the next time I have a long break (which is Thanksgiving.)
I'll see you then, partner.
Until next time, MBANKS.
